You Gotta Drop The Victim Mentality.

I’m Going to Blow Your Mind Right Here…And maybe upset a few people too, because a few years ago I would have found something to be hurt about if I read this post. But hear me out. This year, the Lord has been speaking to me about renewing my mind, about taking every thought captive, rejecting the negative ones, and replacing them with gratitude. Let me tell you, it’s been a process—a real one.

Last year, I had to walk back into not just my childhood trauma but also the bullying and being kicked down over and over, even in my adult years. What I found? Even when I was trying to be a warrior, I had a victim mentality. I would say, “This is what happened to me,” and reel off situation after situation to myself that I had been through. Someone could mention their own trauma and mine would return and I’d think, that’s nothing compared to what I’ve lived through. In my mind I was measuring my circumstances to another. I didn’t know this at the time, but I was stuck in my past day after day, while trying to move forward.

The saddest part? When I would open up to people about my treatment or horrific situations, some would respond, “I don’t know how you keep going. How you aren’t bitter. How do you still believe in God?” Tough, right? And then I’d talk to myself and repeat things like, “Yeah, I’m broken. I’m struggling every day. I can’t be fixed. I don’t trust anyone. How could these people do this to me? How could God allow so much pain?” And on and on the thoughts went. I had made myself a victim without even realising it. A victim of my upbringing, my troubles in life, even my finances. All of it one huge boulder on my back that exhausted me physically, mentally and emotionally.

(If you haven’t read my Refine series yet, be sure to check it out and you’ll get a glimpse into my past few years.)

Anyway back to the topic!

Here’s the mind blowing part…

Jesus knew this mindset was dangerous. Remember when Jesus said to Peter in Matthew 16:23, “Get behind me, Satan!”? He wasn’t calling Peter the devil; He was addressing the mindset that was holding Peter back. That’s what I realized: I was holding myself back, letting my past and pain define me instead of pushing through it with gratitude and faith.

And here’s what Jesus taught me through Peter in this verse. Peter wasn’t setting his mind on the things of God, but the things of man. He was focused on the things around him and not on heavenly matters. His mentality was a stumbling block. So when God showed me this, I got into action and began working on my mindset. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. It’s a daily renewing, a daily giving it to God, a daily wake-up where, before I rise from bed, I say, “I am so grateful to You, God—Your will, Your way.” And when the past comes to visit, I rebuke it in an instant and go, “Nope, you no longer hold me.”

I’m going to be honest—there are days I slip, and those days become heavy. Once down, it’s hard to pull back up, but I’m learning to regulate well these days. (Yes, I had a good slip last week.)

But allowing a victim mentality to take over your day to day life is a strategy of Satan. It takes your focus off what God is asking you to focus on. It waters down the trust we can have in Him by questioning why it happened and how it’s damaged us. It’s a strategy to keep us in the past and even present but have us hold no hope in God for our future.

Yep, we become a stumbling block. Ouch! Ouch!Ouch!

But here’s the thing—letting go of victimhood doesn’t mean your pain wasn’t real, or that what happened to you doesn’t matter. It means you refuse to let it dictate your future. You take back control by changing your mindset, renewing your mind daily, changing your perspective and taking control of your feelings before they take control of you and trusting that God is working all things together for your good.

This journey hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it. Because every time I choose gratitude over negativity, I take one step closer to the freedom God has for me. I set my mind on His will, His plan and hold onto His grace that abounds to me. And you can too.

Love, Sarah x

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