What Do You Think I Ask Of You?

It was still dark when I woke up this morning. I put on the kettle and sat down in the kitchen, pen in hand.

I pulled my Bible close and stared blankly at the page in Acts. I was determined to finish that book this week, but I struggled to concentrate. With a sigh, I placed my head on the table.

“Sometimes I can’t give my all, Lord,” I whispered. There I was, no distractions, yet unable to find joy in that moment. Frustrated, I grabbed my computer to do some work instead, feeling annoyed at myself for wasting such an opportunity. The kids would wake soon, and the moment would be lost.

As I began writing, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. My fingers paused as I felt a spirit-to-spirit moment. “What do you think I ask from you?”

Then, like a download, images and thoughts flashed through my mind—times I spoke to Him in the car, while vacuuming, driving my kids to the bus.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this… so, I’m going to tell you.

I woke up and got straight to studying the word because it’s what I felt was expected of me. I often feel behind or lacking in knowledge of His word because I spent so many years being a page flipper. Looking at others around me, I felt like I was falling short. I had this image of what a committed Christian should look like, and I felt like I didn’t measure up.

But the Lord showed me in that moment that I’m doing life with Him in my own way.

We often forget the small details. When Paul wrote about praying without ceasing, it baffled me. I thought, how am I going to do that? But God showed me that I already do. I acknowledge Him and communicate with Him with every thought. I talk out loud to Him all day. I thank Him in between those thoughts. That is praying without ceasing.

Worship… I often felt I needed to take time out, lift my hands, and sing my heart out in my living room. But if you’re like me, you sing all day, with song lyrics popping into your mind. And still, I praise Him and exalt Him with thanks as I go about my day.

Sometimes, I feel I’m not serving others the way I want to. Then He reminds me I’m serving my family all day. I share my heart and hope to serve others with my writing. I get frustrated, feeling like I’m not living out my purpose or full potential, but then God reminds me that He directs my path. Each moment, even in my living room, is a minute spent living with Him.

My point is, sometimes we need to calm down and just be. More often than not, we put expectations on ourselves that God never asked of us. We strive to be the person He never created us to be.

Give yourself permission to love Him in all your messy imperfections. Give Him what you can and accept that He has simply asked you to love Him. Let Him take care of the rest. Just show up in the day-to-day things and be content in that.

*I pray this blessed you today. Don’t forget to share this with someone who needs to read these words, refer your friends to this page, and share, share, share the love of God always. xx