Breaking Free From The Narcissist.

I used to be like a magnet for narcissists. I would meet them, get love bombed, feel adored, wanted, and then... the control would start to show before I even knew what happened. It was a cycle I didn’t recognize at the time, and they're incredibly good at what they do. They make you feel special and truly loved. But what you don’t see coming until later is the coveting. They want you all to themselves and don’t like sharing you with others. The loving soon turns into covert digs and guilt trips. It’s fine for them to do whatever they want, but for you... you’re theirs. The guilt comes, the blame is thrown on you, and if you try to speak up, it’s your problem. Gaslighting is so, so real. And when they don’t need you any longer, or you step out of line, or you can’t easily be controlled... you’re either discarded or made to feel like you’re the problem.

Narcissists have a way of making you question your reality. They twist your words, manipulate your feelings, and make you doubt your own perceptions. For a long time, I didn't realize I was trapped in this toxic cycle. I thought the problem was me. I thought I wasn't good enough, wasn't doing enough, wasn't loving enough. The constant blame, the guilt trips, and the gaslighting made me feel small and insignificant.

I remember the last time it happened. It was right after a deep conversation with the Lord on a morning walk. I prayed that He would give me discernment in all areas of my life. It was as if within a second, a veil was torn from my face, and I could see for the first time. It was raw and painful, and I genuinely didn’t realize how deep discernment goes.

In that moment of clarity, I saw the narcissist for who they truly were. I saw the manipulation, the control, and the covert abuse. I saw how they had twisted my world and made me doubt my worth. And I knew I had to break free. But breaking free wasn’t easy. It took strength, courage, and a lot of prayer. I had to untangle myself from the web of manipulation. I had to reclaim my sense of self and rebuild my confidence. It was a painful and difficult journey, but it was also incredibly freeing.

I managed to free myself from that person, but the healing... well, it took a lot longer than I thought. That kind of control changes the way you think about the world and yourself. It leaves you feeling alone and helpless as you have to stand by and watch others go through the same thing because they can’t see the person's behavior... yet.

The healing process was slow and challenging. I had to confront the lies I had believed about myself. I had to learn to trust my own perceptions again. I had to forgive myself for not seeing the truth sooner. But most importantly, I had to lean on God. I had to trust that He would guide me through the healing process and restore what was broken.

Oh my… was God was faithful! He surrounded me with a handful of supportive friends who helped me see my worth. He provided me with resources that guided me through the healing process. And He gave me the strength to forgive and move forward. Through it all, I learned the power of discernment. I learned to listen to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. I learned to trust my instincts and stand firm in my boundaries. I learned that true love does not manipulate, control, or gaslight. True love is patient, kind, and respectful.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you are not alone. The journey to healing and freedom is difficult, but it is possible. Ask God to help you discern relationships before you dove in, head first. Surround yourself with supportive people. You are worth so much more than the lies a narcissist would have you believe. You are loved, valued, and cherished by the Creator of the universe.

I hope my story, the glimpse into it, shines a light on the power of God's discernment and the strength that He can provide. He can turn the darkest situations into opportunities for growth and healing. Trust in Him, and you will find the freedom and peace you deserve. I’m happy to finish this off by saying, I no longer allow a narcissist to control me. I can usually spot them right away and walk cautiously into new friendships. You see, I finally found my brave and then, a little after that… I found my worth.

Love Sarah, xx.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, thank You for Your discernment and guidance. Thank You for opening my eyes to the truth and giving me the strength to break free from toxic relationships. I pray for anyone who finds themselves trapped in similar situations. Give them the discernment to see the truth, the strength to break free, and the support they need to heal. Surround them with Your love and peace.

In Jesus' name, Amen.