When Hope Feels Too Heavy.

There’s something so bittersweet about hope, isn’t there? Sometimes, hope feels as natural as breathing, an effortless current carrying us forward. But other times, it’s hard work. There have been so many moments I’ve come before the Lord, weary and worn down, saying, “I don’t want to hope anymore.”

I remember those seasons—watching dreams I’d held so tightly slip through my fingers. Each time it happened, I felt as if a little piece of my heart slipped away, too. It’s easy to wonder why God lets certain dreams fade, especially when they felt so close, so right. I wrestled with that, and maybe you have, too. There’s a certain ache in giving our dreams to God, especially when we don’t see His plan yet.

Oh my… I had so many hopes. I dreamed of a house that wasn’t in constant need of fixing, a space that felt like it could hold the weight of our dreams. I longed for a car that didn’t break down every other month, a dependable way to get from one place to the next without always holding my breath. I hoped for relief from the daily pain that shadows my steps. I dreamed of so much—hope in so many desires that sometimes it felt like the list could go on and on. I wanted steady growth in my life, pushing forward, always aiming for the next thing, the next place. I kept striving, never stopping long enough to listen or rest.

And it wasn’t just these earthly hopes. I had deeper hopes, too—the kind that go beyond any material thing. I hoped for healing, not just in my body but in my mind, from old wounds and heavy memories. I longed to be freed from the burdens that weighed down my heart, the hope to let go of what I’ve held onto for so long. I prayed for release from the things that felt bigger than I could handle, whether fears, traumas, or inner battles that only God knew about. So many nights I begged to be released from the weight of these things, to be set free all at once.

But oh, the testimonies I would have missed if God had given me immediate relief. The lessons I would never have learned, the ways I would never have grown. Because in each struggle, in each slow step toward healing, God was shaping something deep within me. I see now that He was writing a story I could someday pass on, a story of His faithfulness through it all.

Hope can be hard when the path is jagged with rocks that cut at your feet. It’s hard to hope when the way forward feels narrow, when every step takes all your strength. But slowly, God began to show me that my hope wasn’t meant to be tied to my own plans or my vision of how life should go. He wanted my hope to be in Him—in His character, His timing, His perfect wisdom.

In time, I began to see the blessings right in front of me. I had a roof over my head, even if it wasn’t perfect. A car that, despite its quirks, still got me from A to B. A family to love and care for, to laugh with. These were blessings that God had already given me, pieces of His provision I’d sometimes overlooked. And, over time, I began to see why He was leading me in small steps instead of giant leaps—why He was working slowly, deliberately, patiently. He knew I wasn’t ready for everything He had in store just yet, but He was getting me ready.

Looking back, I see how God was gently shaping my heart to rely on Him, to see that He would provide exactly what I needed right when I needed it. There were times when I didn’t know how we’d make it, when the bills stacked up or something broke at the worst possible moment. But right then, in those hard places, God came through. He showed me that my hope wasn’t in having everything perfectly in place but in trusting that He would always be there.

And now, I can say that I praise Him. I praise Him because He has been so patient with me, teaching me that my hope doesn’t have to be in my own plans or my own strength. My hope is in knowing that God is good, that He is always with me, that He never fails—even when the path is steep. He is faithful, and He’s shown me over and over again that He is enough.

So, if you find yourself in that place where hope feels hard to hold onto, know that you’re not alone. God sees you, He knows your dreams, and He’s with you in the waiting. He’s writing a story that is deeper and more beautiful than you can imagine. You can trust that He’s working, even now, even in this. And remember the promise of Romans 5:3-5: “…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”

Dear one, hope isn’t about having all the answers or even knowing what’s next. It’s about trusting the One who does. When we place our hope in God, we’re setting our hearts on a promise that will never disappoint. So let’s keep walking, trusting that every step we take brings us closer to Him—and that one day, we’ll look back and see how He used every part of the journey and our faith in hope, for good.

Love Sarah x.

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