Too Much & Not Enough...

For far too long, I've navigated through life feeling like I'm caught in between two extremes - being "too much" for some and "not enough" for others. It's a confusing place to be, constantly grappling with the question of my own worth and belonging.

In many interactions, I've felt like I’ve been labeled as "too much" – carrying baggage and embracing vulnerability perhaps a bit too eagerly. I don’t come into friendships and take it slow. I’m not one for small talk… at all. I've always been the one diving deep into conversations, seeking to understand the core of human experience. I've yearned for someone to reciprocate, to share their own struggles, and to walk with me through life's valleys and say… I get it! It's my quest for connection, a longing for kindred spirits who understand the complexities of life.

At the other end of the spectrum, there have been moments where I've felt painfully inadequate, as if my worthiness hinges on my usefulness to others. In the moments I've needed support the most, it seemed to vanish, leaving me questioning my significance. These experiences, whether in friendships or within my own family, have left me feeling like I'm constantly falling short… Not enough. Not worth the time or the effort.

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that this dichotomy stems from a childhood and youth marked by constant upheaval, never quite finding a place to call home or forging those lifelong bonds. It's a narrative that has shaped my perception of myself, making me feel simultaneously like too much and not enough. And if I’m being honest, it sucks.

Perhaps you've felt this way too. Maybe you've experienced the weight of feeling like a burden or struggling to find where you belong. Like me, you’ve grappled with the feelings of maybe being too much & not enough. If so, know that you're not alone. But more importantly, know that these thoughts are not true reflections of your worth.

In moments of darkness, I've found solace in the unshakeable truth that my value isn't determined by human standards. It's a revelation that came to me through faith, through encountering the love and grace of Jesus. He sees me, understands me, and affirms my worthiness, not because of anything I do, but simply because I exist. I need you to truly get that truth into your mind. You’re not too much or not enough. You are exactly how God knew you would be.

I don’t write this to simply make you or myself feel better. It’s been lived. These are the exact thoughts and questions I’ve struggled with most of my adult life. And it took me two decades to seek the answers not from people, but Jesus…

So, if you're reading this and resonating with these words, I want you to know that you are seen, you are valued, and you have a purpose. Let's lean into the truth of our identity in Christ, allowing it to reshape how we see ourselves and how we navigate the world.

Love Sarah xx.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." - Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Dear God,

Thank you for seeing me, for knowing me intimately, and for loving me unconditionally. Help me to internalize the truth of my worthiness in your eyes, that I may walk confidently in the purpose you have ordained for me. In moments of doubt, remind me of your steadfast love and guide me on the path towards embracing my true identity in Christ. Amen.

SNEEK PEEK OF SATURDAY’S FAITH & ME, PAID SUBSCRIBER POST.

Diary Entry: Love

Today, I find myself lost in thoughts about love. It's funny how my perspective has shifted over the years. I recall the days of my youth, when I would daydream about what love would look and feel like. Back then, it all seemed so simple, almost too good to be true.

But as I sit here, gazing at the overgrown grass and watching my furry companion doze off by the chicken coop, I'm struck by the complexity of love as my mind wanders through my memories. It's not the fairy tale I once imagined; it's messy, it's challenging, and it requires more from us than we often realise…

I hope to see you there!