Parent Or Friend?

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

I have an amazing relationship with my teens. I never thought being a mother of boys would bring me so much joy. They make jokes at me and we laugh, they stand next to me and measure how tall they are getting, ask me how their hair looks and hug me like they will break me. But sometimes, when hard decisions need to be made I have to remind them that I’m not their friend.

I’m a parent who needs to make the decision that will grow them to be self sufficient. When they tell me their friends don’t do chores, I tell them that I’m teaching them to work hard and help run a household.

When they ask for me to pray for them I suggest they pray and I’ll stand beside them. I want them to be strong enough to go boldly to God and Rely on Him themselves.

When they get their hearts broken, I refuse to let them live in the pain. I get them up and make them focus on moving in anyway they can, because they need to learn how to get through the next ache that comes and the many more after that.

I don’t block them from what’s going on in the world. I don’t turn the tv off and tell what they should not be watching. I don’t dictate who they should be friends with. What I do is ask them to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and if it sits right with their actions.

When they ask me about the things going on in the world and the surge of confusion happening to young people I don’t shy away from the topic. I remind them to love, remember that there is a very real enemy out there and to pray for the spirit of confusion to be broken over them and their surroundings.

You see, I’m not raising them to solely rely on me. I refuse to wrap them in cotton wool. I want them to be Kingdom men and filled with strength, love and their first priority to be Jesus above all else. If they are going to navigate this world and reach those that need the light of Jesus, I need them to begin walking through the hard and carry the light that resides in them to break through and shine.

And this is where they begin to understand what I’m doing…

I’m not raising them to be popular

I’m not raising them to fit into society

I’m not raising them to have others fix their situations.

I’m not raising them to be the judge.

I’m not raising them to quit.

No…

I’m raising them to Rise!

To love!

To seek Jesus first!

And to choose which path they want to walk!

But as their mama, I’m going to pray for them daily. I’m going to be there until my last breath. I’m going to continue to speak Jesus into their lives and I’m going to love them like no one else will on this earth. I’m just not going to live their lives for them.

It’s tough being a parent. We’re trying to navigate our own walk and decisions. But our hearts expand and we want to carry the weight of our children’s issues too. But as they began high school, I realised there needs to be a small letting go as they learn to stand on their own two feet and get prepared for the adulthood coming all too quickly.

So I choose to be their parent above their friend, for now, and it’s one of the hardest choices I’ve had to make.

Love Sarah xx.