Navigating Friendships...

When it comes to discussing friendships… this has been a topic I have found hard to talk about. But I believe that this year is all about walking in peace and trust. It’s letting go of all the things that hinder our walk and fully leaning into God’s comfort with calm in our hearts. You see, I didn’t have a lot of family growing up, so I went in search of those people who I could make my family. The kind of people who understood you, cherished you, would always be there for you no matter what. Even though I knew many people, I really focused on nurturing the few that I swore would be there forever.

But as life unfolds, one of the challenges that often accompanies the journey of growing older is the evolving landscape of friendships. The ebb and flow of life's demands can pull friends in different directions, leaving me pondering a poignant question: Can a friendship truly last a lifetime? And, in the delicate dance of connections, when is it time to let go?

The Challenge of Time’s Passage

Growing older introduces us to the inevitable reality that priorities shift, responsibilities multiply, and the pace of life quickens. As the years accumulate, friendships may naturally fade, and the effort required to maintain them can become a delicate balancing act. Or maybe it isn’t really about growing older, but becoming wiser. What will you sacrifice? What will you allow? What will you tolerate? These are some of the questions I had to really ponder on.

Can a Friendship Last a Lifetime?

Reflecting on this question leads us to the heart of God's design for companionship. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV) assures us, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." In the eyes of the Creator, true friendship mirrors the selfless and enduring love demonstrated by Christ. I believe that friendship needs to be a give and take situation. There are times when the ones we love go through things where they just aren’t able to give a lot. And in those times we must dive in and be the extra strength they need. But what about when you need them? Are they there? Or is it very one sided?

This is something I learned last year and it broke my heart to see the reality of many friendships. When I needed people the most… they just didn’t show up. This caused me to really reflect and ask myself the question, ‘Am I valued by these people?’ The short answer is no, but the healing that came as I let them go was liberating.

So back to my statement… can a friendship last a lifetime? Absolutely, with faith as its foundation, genuine love as its essence, and commitment as its guiding force, a friendship can withstand the test of time. Will it ever have challenges? Of course! My best friend/sister has been a part of my life for over three decades. We can argue or disagree, but we have also come to accept that we are made different and yet, in those differences we have the perfect partnership. When I fall, she picks me up and vice versa.

But I have had others who I had thought would be there forever also and our bond would be unbreakable. Those friendships are the hardest to write about. Some came into my life for a reason… I like to use that word instead of ‘to teach you a lesson.’ Some friendships were just for a season and as we began to walk our own paths, we kind of just let the season be what it was with no hard feelings or talk about it. But some friendships… I had to let go of because they weren’t equal or the care wasn’t reciprocated. Those relationships hurt the most to let go of and the grief that comes when you know it’s time to step back and close the door on it, are the ones that hit hardest.

Knowing When to Let Go

There are seasons when letting go becomes a necessary part of the journey. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) reminds us, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Similarly, there may be a time to release friendships that have served their purpose, acknowledging the beauty of shared memories and experiences.

Signs it might be time to let go or see it for what it was:

- Unhealthy dynamics: If a friendship becomes toxic or detrimental to your well-being.

- Different paths: When life's journeys take friends in separate directions, sometimes parting ways is a natural progression.

- Unresolved conflicts: When efforts to reconcile seem futile, and the relationship hinders personal growth.

A Tapestry Woven in Grace

The journey of friendship is a dance—a delicate interplay of connection and release. As we navigate them, may we seek wisdom in discerning which friendships are meant to stand the test of time and which ones are best released into the hands of our sovereign God. When it’s time to let go… don’t do it with bitterness in your heart. Ask God to bless them and lead them where He wants them to be. You can grieve the loss, but don’t let un-forgiveness or bitterness take root.

To the friends that are there for a lifetime. Treasure them, sow into them, make time for them, pray for them, encourage them and remind them that they are loved and seen. Because a friendship like that, deserves to be celebrated. And may you thank your Heavenly Father for sending such a person to walk this journey called life beside you.

Love Sarah, xx.

*Do you have a lifetime friendship?

*Have you ever had to let a friend go and how did you walk through it?