Embracing Imperfection: Letting Go Of Who I thought I Would Be.

One of the hardest things to do as a Christian is to expose the broken pieces of yourself. For me, I grew up looking at the women in my church as perfect. From a young girl's view, they looked so put together: ironed dresses, perfectly curled hair, huge smiles—and I wanted to grow up and be just like them.

But as I grew up, let me tell you, I did not resemble them at all. I was filled with unresolved trauma, brokenness, and scars, both inside and out. My hair lived in a messy bun, and my attire consisted of leggings. I kept thinking that one day I was going to morph into that woman: perfectly put together, filled with wisdom, and living a life well put together. I cannot tell you how many times I climbed into bed, promising myself, that tomorrow I would make the effort to look pretty, style my hair, place on a bit of makeup, wear a well put together outfit.

It NEVER happened…

For years, I would be fearful of admitting my struggles to others, afraid of their judgments. And if I did confide, I would hear them say, 'Keep praying,' or even, 'You don’t have enough faith.' So, I worked harder to seek perfection, or to serve, hoping that by being in God’s good books, He would somehow bless me and radically turn me into the woman who had it all together.

And those women I thought were perfect, I bet they had their own personal struggles… don’t we all? You see I had sat them on a pedestal and placed unknowing expectations on them also. As a young girl, I would have been crushed if they were anything but perfect in my mind. As an adult, those imperfections would have been much needed to make me feel included. How I longed to speak with others who felt how I did. Thought like I did. Fell apart like I did!

But over time, I realized that Jesus used me for His purpose just as I am. He allowed me to share my messy life, messy thoughts, messy lessons, messy walk, and all for His glory.

He doesn’t ask for us to be the image of another. He simply asks us to come as we are and let Him mold us as the lessons stream in. He can use our voices and words of imperfection to lift up others to come as they are.

So, I embrace my messy journey, knowing that Jesus is always waiting, ready to work through me, just as I am. I won’t ever be perfectly put together, and that’s okay. God showed me He thinks I’m adorable just as I am. Because I will always seek Him first and write Him as the hero of my story while I’m adorned with a messy bun as a crown and leggings as my favourite pants.

#EmbraceTheMess #FaithJourney

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