Closing Doors With Grace: Navigating The Pain Of Walking Away From A Friendship.

Today, I find myself facing a difficult topic, one that I've hesitated to address. But this space was always meant to be real and raw, a place where I could share experiences that are hard to talk about. And today, that topic is about walking away from a friendship. It's not easy to confront, especially when it's usually someone walking away from us, right? But this time, it was me—I had to close the door on a two-decade friendship.

Let me give you some backstory…

Last year, I found myself in a place of refinement unlike anything I'd experienced before. I was struggling desperately, and instead of trying to fight it alone, I reached out to those closest to me. I needed help. I needed support. Honestly, I just needed someone to come and sit with me. My best friend lived just half an hour away. She knew better than anyone what I was going through. And, I won't sugarcoat it—she never came to see me once. To say my heart was broken doesn't even begin to convey my hurt. She was my family, the one I turned to in times of need. But when I sat with the Lord and prayed over that friendship, I saw a pattern that didn't sit well.

You see, it was always me making plans, always me making the effort, always me being the good friend. And my friend? She always apologized for being a crappy friend.

But here's the thing—I don't blame her. Because I taught her how to treat me. I set the bar and allowed the same behavior over and over. As I looked back, I felt like I had no value or worth in that relationship. If that were the case, wouldn't she have been there for me?

So, I made the excruciating decision to close the door on that friendship. It was silent, and it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. There were countless nights I cried over my choice. But here's the truth—I had to start investing in myself. I had to find my value and worth in God. To embrace the new without being held back by the old. That friendship would always be a painful reminder of all the times she wasn't there for me. I needed to turn to the source that tells me I am worth it, I am loved, and I am always wanted.

Where am I now? I still love my friend, and I always will. I'll never speak a bad word against her to another, and I'll always pray blessings for her and her family. I'll cherish the good times and think of her fondly. But that friendship is a door I won't walk through again.

I don't know if you're at a similar crossroads in your friendships, and that's okay. Maybe you know someone who's struggling and needs to hear this. But sometimes, closing that door is necessary when your value and worth are not acknowledged. But here's the crucial part—don't close those doors with bitterness or anger. Close them with blessings over them, place them in God's hands, and keep walking forward.

With love and understanding,

Sarah x.

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